How to Win an Argument Without Losing Friends

Santam Naha
6 min readAug 4, 2021


Image Credit: Flickr

Maybe you’re arguing with someone, or maybe you’re on the other side of
the debate, but either way, it doesn’t have to be a death sentence for your

This article will outline a few steps that can be taken before and when it
feels like everything is going wrong.

This article will also provide a few examples of how to respond to
these steps. By the end of this article, you should be able to have an
easier time during your subsequent argument.

The first thing you want to do is understand that there are no perfect
arguments. Even if you disagree with what someone else is trying to say,
they still have a right to their opinion, which means they also have a right to
be heard.

When you disagree with someone, it doesn’t mean that you have to take
away their right to speak. It means that you have a differing point of view,
and this is perfectly okay.

Even though my opinion is not going to be accepted by everyone, it is still
just an opinion. And I am still able to express my views because there is no
right or wrong answer regarding opinions.

The same concept applies to an argument. If you disagree with
someone’s opinion, there is nothing wrong with expressing your own
opinions and giving them the chance to hear yours.
It may be uncomfortable at first, but over time people will appreciate your

If you try to persuade others into believing something, never attack their
character or accuse them of lying. Try to answer their points and show them
why it’s essential for them to understand your side of the story.

Also, don’t be afraid to let them know when you have changed your
People won’t think you are a hypocrite if you explain your change of
mind and show them that what they were telling you is genuine.

The way you present your arguments is significant, but it can also be the
difference between winning or losing an argument. Ensure that the
information you use to back up your claims is accurate and precise; this will
make it feel like more of a fact than an opinion.

When you are sharing information, it is essential to be concise. Use words
like “absolutely,” “definitely,” and “absolutely not” when making
statements about something.

If you aren’t sure if a statement is correct, use words that express doubt,
such as “maybe” or “I don’t know.” Another thing you can do is ask
questions when possible. This can make your listeners understand what you
mean more easily.

Now try to practice the below-given points, depending upon the
situation you are in. To avoid further arguments with your partner, you need to understand the difference between a personal and an impersonal

A personal argument is one where the fight starts to include things like your
partner’s character or intentions. But, it doesn’t mean that there was no
issue, but it just took a wrong turn and ended up being a personal fight.
Even if you are right about everything, it doesn’t matter if it starts sounding
like a personal attack.

Stop Blaming

When you start to fall into the trap of blaming your opponent, you’ve already
lost. The first step is to accept that the other person is human and then ask
yourself whether they’re making a good or bad decision.

If it’s the latter, stop and take your perspective because their actions and
words do not control you. You are simply trying to get them to see things
from your point of view.

Focus on the Facts

The next step in an argument is to look at the facts and make sure they are
what you think. For example, if you believe that someone pursued a
relationship with your friend and denied it, you will want to check their story carefully.

If it turns out that what you believed happened is not true (there was a
misunderstanding), then apologize and let them know how sorry you are for accusing them of something they did not do.

Deal with the Emotions

People get angry more quickly than we realize. When someone gets angry,
they tend to become defensive, and if you are in an argument with this
person, you need to be emotionally firm. If the other person is trying to
convince you that the way they have been acting is okay, then calmly point
out that their actions are unacceptable.

Don’t let them convince you that they are correct by yelling and insulting
them because this will only result in both of you losing your temper and
making everyone else uncomfortable.

Don’t Use Aggression

A huge mistake that people make when arguing is to use Aggression. This
usually starts with them becoming aggressive, and then they will be quickly
followed by their opponent. Once you get involved in this cycle, it becomes
challenging to stop because it will be hard for you to know when it is over.
After all, the others will not let you speak clearly.

This cycle of Aggression is like a vicious circle, and since you are stuck in
there, nothing good can come of it. Instead of winning a battle, you need to
think about how the people around you can perceive you.

If they see that you are aggressive, they won’t want to listen to what you
have to say, and this is not a good thing because it will make it very difficult
for you to persuade them.

Think about How You Would Feel

This step may be the most important one of all. It will help you realize that
even if someone is annoying or frustrating, that doesn’t mean that they
deserve poor treatment.

Imagine if someone did something to you that was annoying or frustrating.
Wouldn’t you want them to think about how you felt? If your answer is yes,
then don’t do it. Try to see things from their perspective and realize that at
the end of the day, they are feeling exactly like you feel.

Understand Your Opponent’s Side

You need to understand why someone wants what they want. Thinking about this will help a lot because it will make it much easier for you to understand
their motives. The next time a person starts to argue with you, try to
understand why they are saying what they are saying. When you do this,
you will be able to think about more than just winning.

Decide on Facts

When people argue, it is usually because one of them feels strongly about
something, and to win the argument, the other person has to break those
feelings down using facts and evidence.

If you want to win the argument, you have to make sure that your facts are
better than theirs. This will mean that no matter how hard they try, they will not be able to convince you otherwise.

Consider Your Opponent’s Point of view

When trying to win an argument, it is very easy to become provoked by the
other person’s words, and this makes it even more difficult for you to think
about what they’re saying. It would help if you thought about their feelings
and emotions to understand better why they think the way they do. Once
you have this, you will be able to respond better and explain your point of

Think before you speak

This step is vital because it will allow you to make sure that what you say is
well thought out rather than being impulsive. It will also help you notice the
information you need from your opponent to reply as efficiently and
effectively as possible.

Be Positive and Amiable

When people argue, they most usually want to win an argument that way,
and they can feel stronger and better about themselves. If you want to
become better at making arguments, you must understand that the best
way to do this is to be optimistic and amiable. When you are like this, your
opponent will feel more comfortable and open to your ideas and be much
more willing to change their views.

To conclude, Arguing and debating will be a part of your life for many
years to come, and therefore you must try to develop good skills and
techniques. If you can follow these 10 steps, you will be much more likely to
win arguments, debates, and discussions without losing your well-wishers
and friends.

Good luck!



Santam Naha

I’m Santam Naha. I’ve been in the field of IT/ Web Development for almost 17 yrs now. HIGH QUALITY CONTENT WRITING is the area that I’m really passionate about.